I don't know what it is about a week in a foreign country that has so inspired me anew to consider all the possibilities standing before me . . .
waiting . . .
A career, a family, a home
What do I want? When do I want it? Where do I want it?
It's finally okay for me to ask those things. I've finally let go of needing them . . . demanding them. I finally embraced a career, a family, a home, and a million other things the American dream takes for granted as only blessings . . . and now am finally embracing them as blessings that might have been intended for me afterall.
So what is right for me?
6 Go to the ant, you sluggard;
consider its ways and be wise!
7 It has no commander,
no overseer or ruler,
8 yet it stores its provisions in summer
and gathers its food at harvest.
In Proverbs 6, the ant simply is. It doesn't dwell day after day on the positives and negatives, the what-ifs and should-haves. It does what it knows how. It brings glory to is Maker by fulfilling its purpose: to do what makes sense. To live as it knows life.
With each day, I feel more certain about what makes sense.
I think that might mean that it's all getting a little closer.
And still yes, in a sense, I'm more scared than ever . . . and I think that's because I know myself more. And am realizing how little I know.
It's a beautiful thing . . . for every new thing I learn to learn of another thing I don't know. Maybe will never know.
Life is far from simple. Our faith is far from simple.
But, still, it isn't.
And in a sense, I'm more sure than ever . . . and I think that's only by faith.
Oh for grace to trust Him more.
