who am i, anyway?

who am i, anyway?

i'm sick of feeling this pressure to be one thing or another.
i thought i was past that . . . had given it to God and grown through needing affirmation from people to be whole.

maybe so much so that in letting go of needing to prove myself,
i've lost sight of who i wanted to be.

which makes me wonder who exactly i was to start with.
was i only seeking after jesus because it's "right"? am i back to that place again?
am i back wanting to be like christ more than to love christ?

"lord i'm letting go. please . . . don't let go of me."

hello, fall

i bought a pair of sunglasses from walgreens. they're pretty fly.
also some winter shirts from american apparel. again, fly.



the leaves are beginning to turn,
and the air smells crinkly crisp crunchy
like nutmeg
and old books with new beginnings.


hello, fall.


(winter, come quick! but not too quick.)